Looking towards the future with Hope

(with acapella Auld Lang Syne playing in the background) :)

IndioHistorian’s Log, Supplemental: I know that title sounds cliche-ish at this moment. Perhaps stranger even is the fact that a historian, a Filipino historian at that makes that statement. We historians are somewhat of a pessimist. We love popping some overblown balloons of exaggerations coming from extreme nationalists who love exaggerating facts, and at the same time we shatter the popular stereotypes about our heroes. This is Philippine history. It is not that shiny and glorious as we want it to be… like any other depraved empire or civilization in human history… at least not if you’re on a quest for Truth. All nations have their dark side. But then again Divine Providence has given us a lot of good things in our history to mull over as a nation.

I’ve been walking and stumbling for the most part of 2011 and it had been really bumpy. But I marvel at how God would always carry me through, making my historical and personal lenses squeaky clean. So here is how I will end my 2011… to note some personal milestones. If you’ve been following this blog, just lemme do a mouth diarrhea since its the last day of 2011. Please?

1. I resigned from a teaching job that was so infested with suffocating feudal politics that lasted until April 2011. I handed over my resignation and moved into a job in the government (a drastic change I would say). I have been learning a lot of new stuff about the country’s cultural depth, meeting some humble Filipinos who love the country with all their heart even when their efforts are not recognized. I’m still getting used to the large bureaucracy and tons of papers. But the most surprising learning was how my officemates made me respect the government again (respect level: from negative 100 to positive 2, yey!).

Balloon Popped: IT IS A LIE that majority of Filipinos don’t love the country. In fact I met many people who have dedicated their lives in the service of the Philippines… and many of them have convoluted problems of their own. Want to fix the convoluted problems of this country? Nationalism may help but it is NOT the answer.

2. This year was the 150th year (sesquicentennial) of Rizal’s birth date, and the nation had been celebrating his life significantly. I got to participate in the Rizal conference in U.P., the most memorable conference for me. And, I celebrated my birthday, just before Rizal’s. A historian’s dream come true.

Balloon Popped: It is true that life in the academe is hard. BUT I CAN DO IT!

3. I left an evangelical megachurch that was somewhat trapped in its own bubble, built around the implicit notion that it is the only church that loves the country and cares for Filipinos etc. etc. But the fact is it has forgotten its primary mandate and a lot of people from the inside are painfully seeing it. A certain reformer from Geneva comes to mind: “Is it faith to understand nothing and merely submit your convictions implicitly to the Church?” (John Calvin). It’s amazing how some people become what they are fighting against.

Balloon popped: Now that I’m out of that bubble, I discovered that the WORLD IS SO HUGE. I thought my life then was the real world. No, THIS is the REAL WORLD! It’s possible to live your life on the fringes, where the real people are, with real needs and real problems.

4. I have met some special historian-friends who may not agree with my stand, but who nevertheless keep an open mind to new research, new insights, and new discoveries…the discipline of a historian in pursuit of truth. You’d meet some close friends along the way.

Balloon Popped: Still learning to test my own ideas if they can hold water. I’m learning bit by bit that you need hard evidence to prove your hunch. Historian’s life in that way is kinda crazy. Whose to say that your idea is the only idea? I’m learning to learn from others and filtering some. 2011 has been a big shift of my personal worldview.

5. It’s my first time to take on two jobs at the same time. It is so maturing for a twenty-something guy. The two jobs have the possibility of becoming three.

Balloon Popped: There’s a big difference between having no money and being poor. The difference is like heaven and hell. The former still believes that he can rise out of that predicament. The latter has already settled for what is. 

6. I made two *friends* this year. One is a National Artist and the other is a legit ‘dekalembang’ historian. When I say friends, what do friends do but fight, right?

Balloon Popped: I used to admire them not knowing what they are like in person. But once you get to know them in the nitty gritty way, they’re just normal people with angst that need to be resolved. I hope I become the solution.

7. My Christmas wish was granted. My family is now back to normal. My close friends know what I mean.

Balloon Popped: Anything is possible. Anything.

So I have reason to believe that 2012 won’t be that bad for everyone. A lot of us have gone through hell and back and I can honestly say it is possible to sing even in the darkest, most bleak moments of your life. 2012 will not be what the Mayans say it will be. You wouldn’t stake your life on a calendar made by a people that believed in human sacrifice, would you? A New Year Gift from this Indio to every Indio Bravo in the Philippines and around the world:

“Behold, I will do something new, Now it will spring forth; Will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.” (Isaiah 43:19)

May you have a STRONG and COURAGEOUS new year!